One agonizing question that adult children ask is: “How can I cope with reality, leaving life behind me to become the main guardian for my parents?” The words of this question may vary, but the question is basically the same. How do we take this great shock in our lives? It may seem selfish for someone, but for those who care for them with full heart and without planning, and then supported this mode of life change for several months and often years, this is a completely rational question.
Placing your life on hold
People sometimes put their lives, as they know them, on hold to take care of others. It is disinterested. But when “on hold” becomes a new norm, there is a mental adjustment. And sometimes it involves dealing with boiling discontent. At first, it is constructive to remind myself that immediately referring to a slowly retreating parent to a shelter or a recovering center in some countries would be considered shocking unwise, even hateful. In many countries, the elderly agree with special respect, even respect. Without fail, they care in the homes of adult children or relatives until they are close to death. In the United States, we tend to register older people in these institutions earlier, and this is normal when it becomes too nervous and physically impossible to care for losers.
Setting up a new normal
Most people enter care with full hearts and aspirations. This is how a healthy thinking process can work: “Hmm, this can go on for years. It will be difficult, but possible. If I continue to work full time, I will have more for retirement, but I can't do it all.
No, we just dive. Dad has a hit, so of course we are here to help. He survives, but needs great care. Mom can not cope with the hard physical work of caring for dad. And she keeps on forgetting. So it is up to us. We guarantee that our people will receive help at home, and we will make adjustments in our own lives so that we can give them maximum help. Sometimes we leave work or work part-time to take care of our parents.
No matter what age we have, when we start to take care, he will certainly change our life as we planned them. If we have children at home, they will have to adapt to sharing their time — to get less of you. If you are older when caring enters your life, this often affects your retirement plans.
Of course, some of these questions are complex. It is not always easy to delve into our own reasons for doing what we do and coming up with truthful answers. Care can easily turn into martyrdom, and it does not help anyone. One big option, before ever moving parents to objects, is to hire companions to relieve some kind of pressure from outside. They can provide home care services at home, or they can take them on fun walks, important assignments or doctor's appointments.
If we ever have to transfer our parents to hospitals, they can hold them against us. If they do not see us daily, they can also complain and accuse us of cruelty. But are they really at risk? If so, we need to find a way to fix it, whether through social services or other public utilities. Check your state’s website and find your version of “aging services.” Through this link you must find ways that your state uses federal funds to help seniors and assist caregivers. Each state has a version of a family caretaker support program. Your state may have a different name, but they usually provide much-needed support, both practical and emotional.
If you do not have brothers and sisters to help you find care options or you have them, but they really refuse to help, you will not be the only one heard by Family Caregiver Support Services. These people should help you locally. If you live in an area where there is a “regional agency on aging”, they provide a lot of community support.
Do not throw the towel
Do not give up until you get some help. If you need to move seniors to help, then do your homework and find the best option. Assure them that you are not abandoning them, but you cannot take care of them alone. Most of the time they will be customized. Often, as soon as they see that you do not budge, they put up with it and in fact enjoy aspects of the life of the object.
The fact is that you have to find some kind of balance in your life. If you pass the years when you feel discontent, your health will suffer. And you will not be as good a tutor as you want to be. It is much better to find some kind of answer and balance your life as soon as the emergency situation that caused you to take care passed your own life descended into flame. As you know, this is not what your senior would like for you.
